The Tanner Hill - Smart Decisions

What is the subject nature of 'love'? Many people may regard 'love' as a topic in literature, philosophy, religion and art; rarely would people realise 'love' is actually a medical subject as well.

Love – 'need' of lives

From the medical point of view, life is a continuous and interactive process between 'instincts' and 'needs'. Human instincts include physical growth and development, learning and pursuit of knowledge, overcoming challenges and adversities, as well as resisting illnesses. Needs, on the other hand, include physical and psychological needs. Simply speaking, physical need means nutrition. So long as we eat well and with sufficient nutrition intake, we will have physical energy. Similarly, if our psychological need is satisfied, that is, our need for affection is satisfied, we will be filled with psychological power. But what is the need for affection? The answer is love.

Without food, especially for a prolonged period of starving or malnutrition, we would feel hungry, lack of drive, depressed, sick, which can ultimately lead to death. Similarly, without love, we would feel lonely, unhappy, demotivated, unhealthy, and life would perish eventually. Psychiatry has enlightened us on a clear message: love is a basic need of our life.

Love – 'drive' for love?

Satisfaction in love fuels us with psychological power, which drives us to live well and extend care to others. People filled with love care about their family members, thereby creating a happy family. In their workplace, people filled with love care about their colleagues and are devoted to their job and responsibilities, and all these reasons are conducive to establishing a successful career. This group of people treasure and maintain good relationship with other people in society, which contributes to the harmonious development of our community. Although retired people have stepped down from their job positions, they could still continue to devote their love to their families and society, and even contribute further as they have more time than before.

Whom to Love and How to Love?

For many retired people, 'Whom to love?' could be an upsetting or even a sorrowing question, since some of their family members and close friends might have either passed away or are not in close companionship with them. They might ask, 'I want to love, but whom and how?' The answer is actually simple: love those around you and the whole society at large by contributing your abilities, experience and time to serve the community.

'Serving the Community' Means Loving Ourselves and the Others

We all are members of our society. If our relationship with each other is distant, our society would become cold and detached. On the contrary, if we love ourselves and the others, our need for affection will be satisfied so as to enhance our physical and psychological well-being and make us energetic. For those who have retired, serving the community is in essence the way to love themselves and the others, which is indeed the best prescription for physical and psychological wellness in retirement time.

Dr Wong Chung-kwong, JP,
Chairman of Honorary Advisory Board, Whole Person Development Institute